There are still goosebumps on my arms and my pulse hasn’t returned to normal quite yet. I was downstairs in the dungeon doing some laundry–because who doesn’t do laundry at 1am the night before leaving on a weekend trip–when sudden movement caught my eye.
Bending down to grab some towels, a GIANT–and by that I mean HUGE–mutant monster cricket/spider/demon bug hybrid lunged at me!!! I recoiled in sheer terror, a shriek escaping my lips. I have never, and I mean never, seen a bug of this magnitude before. This bug must have traveled from a foreign land to get to my basement. I’ve lived in Jersey for almost 36 years and have never seen a creature like this.
While attempting to keep an eye on the Franken-Bug, who was menacing me, I casted about for something with which to smite it. My mouth was dry, and I heard a loud clanging in my ears. Where the hell was Husban-dito when I needed him?!
In desperation, I threw a towel over the bug. And then I tossed a heavier towel on top of the first and then another for good measure. I can only hope that the weight of the towels will prevent this monstrosity from boinging up two flights of stairs and bouncing down the hallway into my bedroom to attack me as I slumber.
Shaking, I sprinted from the dungeon to my office, immediately parked myself at the computer, and Googled “horrifying spider cricket mutant bug’. I was greeted with the image of the EXACT bug that is now resting under several layers of beach towels:
I'm STILL shaking from the encounter with this mutant bug.
And here’s small sampling of what Wiki had to say:
- To avoid starvation, they have been known to devour their own extremities, even though they cannot regenerate limbs. (Now that’s appetizing…)
- Given their limited vision, cave crickets will often jump towards any perceived threat in an attempt to frighten it away. (ROGER THAT!) Their large hind legs allow them to jump high and far. (NO SHIT!!!)
- Cave and camel crickets (also known as spider crickets) are of little economic importance except as a nuisance in buildings and homes, especially basements. They are usually “accidental invaders” (From where, praytell? HELL?!?!) that wander in by mistake from adjacent areas. They generally do not reproduce indoors, except in situations that provide continuous dark, moist conditions, such as a basement shower or laundry area, as well as organic debris to serve as food.
- Although they appear intimidating, they are harmless to humans. (Right. Except for inducing myocardial infarction in 30-something bloggers.)
- Their long legs have caused them to be more commonly referred to as “sprickets” or “spickets”, a blending of “spiders” (whose legs they resemble) and “crickets”.
Tomorrow, I’m going to tell Husban-dito I left a present for him under some towels in the basement. I’ll let him wrangle this monster bug because I’m DONE. D-O-N-E. Now could someone please pass me a Valium?
Enjoy the weekend!
Aw! Sprickets is such a cute name. And that bug is so cutesy wootsey.
OMG WTF is that?
That fact that you threw two towels on it is amazing. Other bloggers may have just wet themselves.
Hopefully you didn’t get devoured during the night.
lol! i was SO scared. it was worse than the time we found a dead chipmunk in our dryer hose. this bug MENACED me. seriously. waaah!
k. i’m off to cape may now. xoxo enjoy the weekend.
lol!
Good thing you moved out 17 years ago.
I find those creepy Spickets quite often trapped in the wash sink in the basement. The slippery sides and the depth of the sink prevent them from hopping, springing or jumping out. Once my heart rate returns to normal, I trap them in my trusty coffee can and set them free outside hoping they will take up residence at one of our neighbors house.
Have a great weekend. XOXOXO
Dude, tellllll me about it!
Did you read about my scary tub bug story?
I think the plan of throwing a load of towels on his was solid. I second that idea.
That is truly disgusting. Bugs freak me out – I always make Joe kill them (and he always rolls his eyes and says “You’re 10 million times bigger than it, just squish it in a tissue and stop fussing.”
Like I’d squish THAT thing in a tissue!
Bleh. I now feel all creeped out and paranoid.
I am so AMAZINGLY uninterested in ever owning a house with a basement now. I kind of thought they sounded cool, like a secret and hidden room, but that is a nightmare. No, thanks!
I woulda died from shock. Then, I woulda come back from the grave as a ghost and haunt the damn thing until it too died an untimely death.
Sorry for your scare, Nat, but have to say, it was worth it to read your mom’s comment!! Too cute! When will Momma Curly Wurly be starting her own blog?? SUBSCRIBE/
xoxoxooxo
PS: MIISSSSSSSSS YOU!
I’ve got hundreds of those spricket bugs in my basement as we speak!!!!! I’m not kidding u ! i was googling to see what these( high hopping creatures that almost give u a heart a tack) bugs were and I ran across your comment (by curlywurlygurly) I am so thankfull to finally find out what they were and that they dont birte!!! There are way too many to put outside. I may just have to bomb the basement because I’m surely not ever going down there again to do laundry until every last one of these things are gone!!! Scaryest thing I;ve ever encountered! Any advise on how to get rid of them besides bombing or just want to add something… By DJ~~~
I really enjoyed your story & response to the evil mutant crikets & the flashbacks to the Great Space Coaster. Thanks
can someone tell me how to get rid of these things my skin is still crawling i cant handle it please helpppppp!
I can certainly understand how frightening that would be–for anyone! My house is surrounded by live oaks, so I get alot of huge roaches (often called “palmetto bugs”), no matter how clean my house is (they love live oaks). When I first moved here, almost thirteen years ago, they scared the hell out of me. But soon my fear turned to anger–and as a result I can easily kill one with my bare hand, now, when necessary!
OMG!!! I was at camp and I was the only one who would get near that grasshopper/spider/roach/it to try and get it out of out tent and it jumped on me twice! i thought it was a one of a kind mutant bug killer but i typed in google ‘mutant bug’ and there it was!your not alone! im usually not scared of bugs (i also had to step on a scorpion while i was at camp in the SHOWER) BUT I FLIPPED WHEN THAT THING GOT ON ME. It might have been simple old girlscout camp but they had some freaky bugs.